I’ve always known the “giving” aspect of love. For example, the Scripture says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son …” So, I know that true love is demonstrated by giving. You can’t claim to love without giving, and that’s why lovers exchange gifts though its deeper than that.
But I got another dimension of love while talking with one of my mentors the other night. He said love is death, and that statement stayed with me all night and I woke up the next morning to it again. It just refused to leave me. As I kept thinking about it, the statement of Jesus in John 15:13 came to mind: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Yes, love gives, but love is a death as well. Jesus died for the object of his love. When we’re truly in love, we must be dead to the one we claim to love.
This is more crucial when it comes to relationships. The reason why we have so many breakups and breakdowns of marital relationships these days is because we don’t know this aspect of love. We know the emotional aspect; the romantic and the sexual aspects of love; the Hollywood’s love and even that keeps breaking every now and then.
When you’re dead to your partner, it doesn’t matter what they do or not do to you. When you say I love you, you’re inadvertently saying I’m dead to you. The dead can take anything. The dead has no care. The dead feels no insult. The dead holds no offense. The dead is dead! That’s why Adam and Eve were both naked and not ashamed because they were both dead!
But here’s the good news which is also the message of Easter: Death is not final. After death comes resurrection. After death, there’s another life, a new life, a much better life. A life without restriction. That’s what you gain after death. Jesus could not be restricted again. No wall could hold him back.
When you truly love the Jesus’ way, you’re free—free to enjoy your relationship. See how Rom. 6:9 puts it: “For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him.” Wow!