Responding with Grace

The battle over relationships is becoming intense every day. Homes are breaking at a very alarming rate. Relationships are falling apart. I heard of an eighty-year-old couple that divorced some weeks back. They celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary only last year yet things fell apart and the centre couldn’t hold again.

While I’m not privy to what led to the fissure, careless words could be partly or totally to blame. Every relationship faces challenges. Every relationship comes under fire. There will be peace in many relationships if the operators would keep their mouth shut some time especially during difficult times.

Your partner will not always treat you right all the time. They will do certain things that will be hurtful and disappointing. They will say certain things that will be unexpected. But when we learn to respond with grace, that changes everything. Grace is underserved, unearned blessing.

When we see fire, we look for water. Even if you bring in the fire crew, they will look for water. We know what to do to put out physical fire but unfortunately, we do the contrary in our relationship. If you return fire with fire, the whole house will soon be engulfed. And if you don’t know, words are fire; with it we can burn and consume people and relationships.

If you have to say it the way you feel it, you will ruin it. Some things are better kept inside (for an appropriate time) than expressed. Only fools say all their minds; the wise weigh their words. There are some words that if we say to our partner or spouse or even kids could create lots of chaos in the relationship.

What’s the way out? I came across this during my study time yesterday:

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

Wow! That’s why those who are wise weigh their words. If it’s heavy in your mouth most likely it will be heavier in the heart of the recipient. Proverbs 15:28 says: The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.